Dr. Corbier

We went to see a pediatric neurologist on Friday in Concord. I had researched a little about Dr. Corbier before we went, and found out that his parents were missionaries in Africa. He believes in "total restoration" for brain health, including biological, psychological, social, and spiritual components.

Brian and I were both very impressed by him. He brought in his laptop and typed his own notes as he asked us lots of questions about Olivia. He asked about her birth, her social skills, her language development, and her arthrogryposis. He answered questions whenever we had some, and he never made us feel rushed. I showed him the list of tests the geneticist wanted, and he said that he agreed with all of the requests (though he added a few more).

I asked about autism, as this seems to be his area of expertise. He said that while she shows some traits of autism, the fact that her eye contact is improving and that she is an affectionate child, kissing and hugging us, leads him to believe (at least at this time) that she is not autistic.

He wants her on a multi-vitamin and wants her off of red dye, caffeine, and chocolate. He thinks she might be having small seizures (not something we would notice, except maybe that she is staring into space). He wants to schedule an EEG. We were going to go ahead and do the blood tests while we were there, but the lab won't draw for one of the tests except on M-Th before 12, so they will call us tomorrow to schedule that and the EEG.

He is looking for a vitamin or cofactor deficiency or maybe a mitochondrial condition. He is also doing further chromosomal testing.

I'm anxious to see the test results, but it apparently takes up to five weeks to get the results, as the tests are sent to various hospitals.

We really liked Dr. Corbier.

Of course, I came home and had a meltdown. It is so hard to explain. She is here, she's ours, I love her beyond comprehension, and we'll do whatever it takes to help her. But, I ache sometimes when I think about what she can't do. I want her to have conversations with us. I want her running. I want to hear her calling for me to come watch her play. I want to understand what is going on in her mind.

Brian is handling everything so much better than I am. I'm really considering going to therapy to help me through some of these emotions. I go from being at peace to overwhelmingly sad to feeling horribly guilty. I need to trust that things will be okay. I need to have faith. And sometimes, I do. But, my valleys are really low right now. I keep praying for peace.

It's 10:48 p.m. and Olivia is still awake. I don't know what is going on with her sleep schedule lately, but it is way out of control! Last night, I put her to bed at around 10:45 and she stayed awake in her crib until after 3:30. Bless her heart. She doesn't cry- she just talks and sings and reads her books. I don't understand...

She did take some pretty good steps outside today. She still takes better steps in the grass. Glad warm weather is here.

What did I say before? Spring is coming. Gotta remember that.