Finding the words

I have a million thoughts running through my head. Getting my feelings down “on paper” is therapeutic for me, and I hate it when I can’t find the words. These thoughts are all so intertwined that I just don’t feel like I know where to start.

So, instead of writing, I’ve been reading.

Instead of fumbling to find my own words, I thank God for placing in my path those who have said it for me…


…like how Brian and I have been changed…

This little girl would cause you to ask many questions, all with the same answer: God is sovereign; there is nothing outside of His control. She would cause you to cling to your faith in a way that nothing in your life had before.
http://whereverheleadswellgo.blogspot.com/2008/06/daddys-little-girl.html


…like how I am subscribed to child development email updates that I have deleted without reading for five years now…

I long ago tossed the child-rearing books and quit subscribing to the "Your Child Now" updates…
…All right, that's it: To hell with the numbers.
http://lovethatmax.blogspot.com/2010/05/my-child-is-not-his-age-and-that-is-ok.html


…like why I’ve stayed in my bubble so much this year…

Reminded me that I really have put myself in a bubble. Not really in a bad way. But it's the way I stay comfortable and feel normal. I surround myself with people who know me and know my kid and know this journey. They've known me as I was before, and who I have become. They know when I need to talk and when I just need to NOT be asked questions. They know when to drop a smoothie off at my house at 9 PM and when to put a Reese's egg on my desk.
http://debbie61497.blogspot.com/2010/05/bubble.html


…like when I’m overwhelmed and need to be still…

The best thing we can do to protect ourselves from these vines is to be diligent in watching for them, and when we do see one trying to overtake us, snip it where it grows. Go to the real Master Gardener, our personal pruner, and ask Him to help us handle our vine in the right way and deal with it so that it doesn't continue to be a problem for us.
http://itaintabouthowhardyoucanhit.blogspot.com/2009/12/today-i-went-out-into-woods-behind-our.html


…like how I find myself wondering about the future…

How will it be when we get more stares than smiles?
How will it be when you stand out in a crowd?
I wonder now how will it be…
http://newkindofnormal.blogspot.com/2009/12/how-will-it-be.html


…like how the good days seem to help me survive the bad days…

Some days are cream days. Some days are skim milk days. … It's the cream days that get me through the skim milk days. Perhaps I live off the excess fat. No it's okay...I can cut back a little...yesterday was a cream day...
http://samsmom-heathers.blogspot.com/2010/01/cream.html


...like how amazing it is that even though Olivia rarely speaks, God is speaking through her…

For years I wondered how/why God would give us a daughter named Rhema – a name that means the “spoken word” – that could not, would not speak. Now I know that it was, as my twin would say, the perfect setup. The perfect setup for God to do something amazing with The Word.
http://rhemashope.wordpress.com/2009/09/17/come-and-listen/


…like how I can feel grief and loss and hope and faith all at the same time…

But there are days when I feel, heavy on my heart, a sense of loss. Sometimes I can’t help missing what I’m missing. I will not deny that. But I will give it to God and still trust Him to do something extraordinary…
http://rhemashope.wordpress.com/2008/10/13/missing-what-im-missing/


…like how if I could write a letter to new special-needs mommies, it would be exactly this…

Welcome to the Club
…You will find people in your life who get it and some that don’t. You’ll find some that want to get it and some that never will. You’ll find a closeness with people you never thought you had anything in common with. You’ll find comfort and relief with friends who speak your new language. You’ll find your village…
http://adiaryofamom.wordpress.com/2009/05/01/welcome-to-the-club/
(The entire letter should be required reading for special-needs parents all parents everyone.)


…like how I pray for Jacob…

(This post is about two sisters. I edited to read as brother/sister.)
Will he be o.k.? He’s been given such a tender heart. An old soul, so perceptive and sensitive to the feelings of others, always quick to encourage. Will you, God, in spite of me, foster these gifts in him as he lives life with his special sister? Will you keep him from becoming cynical, jaded and burnt out? Will he see his sister not as a bother or burden, but as valuable teacher and inspiration? Will you hold him during times of fear, frustration, embarrassment or disappointment?
http://rhemashope.wordpress.com/2010/03/12/provision/


When I feel like I can't find many words in me, He leads me to find them in others.
Thanking God tonight for my “village.”