First day of school

We finally made a decision about kindergarten for Olivia.  (Nothing like waiting until the last minute!)

After the diagnosis of low-functioning autism was finally spoken aloud, we discussed the best placement for Olivia for kindergarten.  Dr. Neuropsychologist shared his opinion that Olivia's needs would be best met in a special education classroom.  Brian and I had been considering putting her in a regular ed classroom at Jacob's school, especially after finding out that one teacher I really liked was moving from first grade to kindergarten.

I explained that it wasn't about mainstreaming our child so she would be with "normal" children her age.  It was more about the fact that my sweet girl's mind is still as much of a mystery as it ever was before we had a label for it, and I don't want to miss an opportunity for her to be in a language-rich, academic environment.  And, given the unknown future, there may be plenty of years down the road where she might be extremely different than her typically-developing peers.  So, if we are going to mainstream her, kindergarten seems like the perfect time.

Dr. listened and agreed that Olivia takes in more than we really know, but then made the case for a special ed classroom by reminding us of Olivia's need for intense, individualized work on her specific goals.  And even in the best of situations, it is difficult to imagine the possibility that she can get what she needs in a classroom with 20+ students, most (if not all) will be speaking in sentences, writing their names, and learning to read.

Okay, back to the drawing board.

We had planned for Olivia to attend HES, and when I met the teacher at our May transition meeting, I was very happy at the idea that she would be taking care of our girl.  But, I must say that walking into the classroom and meeting some of the other students who would be staying in the same class this year left me with a lump in my throat and my heart in my knees.

The reason had nothing to do with the fact that the other students had various special needs.  Seriously, I dealt with those emotions a long time ago.  But, this classroom has students from K to grade 5.  Together.  In the same class.

I knew that fact going in, but actually seeing a few kids that were as big as Jacob- even as big as me- I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me.  It was one of those times that I think I'm prepared for, but the moment comes and suddenly I find myself stumbling around trying to find my footing.  Like trying to appear like you know what you're doing while learning to ice skate.  You put on a pretty face and try not to land on your butt while you flail your arms about.  And you do it in such a way that maybe, just maybe, those around you will think it's part of some ice dance routine you're practicing.

I wasn't worried so much about my girl getting hurt under the feet of the bigger kids.  Instead it was another one of my assumptions that I didn't realize had set up camp in the grand-plans-area of my brain.  I envisioned my kindergartener in a class of precious little five-year-olds.  Not fifth graders.  No matter their cognitive likeness, these kids were not part of the plan.  Would Olivia care?  Not at all.  Yet again, this issue is allll momma's. 

Regardless of the fact that I need to have an in-home therapist to help me through my random struggles (like the size of 5th graders), the issue still remained that I was at a loss for what to do.  Brian was mostly on the fence about every option I threw at him, and I think he basically knew I would ponder all the details (enough for both of us) and then we could narrow down the options together after I had the pro/con lists ironed out.

So, fast forward back to the day of the autism diagnosis.  I asked Dr. if he thought a class specifically for autistic children would be a good fit for Olivia, and he believed that with a great teacher who is trained in TEACCH and/or ABA, an autism classroom would be the best scenario for classroom placement.

We decided to check into options and that we would be inviting Dr. to the IEP meeting to help us revise Olivia's goals and to review the evaluation results.  (Have I mentioned how much I like this Dr.?  He is so knowledgeable and having someone with such expertise in autism and DD sure does make this journey easier to navigate.)

When Brian and I left there, we went by my office and shared the results with some folks.  I spoke with our EC director about the two autistic classes in our district.  ... More options to consider and too much for our overwhelmed brain to handle that day.

Side story:
Brian's truck had been acting up and after a brand new battery died the same day, it was determined that there was an issue with the alternator.  We actually had to leave the truck at Solutions and go back with jumper cables to try and get it home so B could change the alternator.  That didn't happen.  The truck made it about a mile.  So, Brian sent me home with O (who had been busy all day, with botox injections in Charlotte, then straight to the meeting with Dr. in Hickory.  She had only had a snack since b'fast, so Brian wanted me to get her home and fed since it was already almost 6pm).  He put together a plan with two fireman friends to get him another battery, get his truck to the FD, and to borrow a vehicle until the next morning.

In the meantime, I begin heading home, and my car overheats.  Multiple times, with no hope of cooling off enough for me to make it home.  So, I made it to a Walmart close by and fed Olivia some crackers and cookies from the grocery section while roaming around the air conditioned store.  About an hour and a half later, Brian finally showed up in his loaner, put some coolant in my car, and we finally got back on the road.

For about 1/4 of a mile, before my car overheated again.

Standing in the summer evening heat, sweating and frustrated that both cars decided to call it quits at the same time, I looked at Brian and said,  "Do you get it when I say that the best part of our day was finding out our daughter is autistic?"  "Yes, I do," he agreed.  It really was a very surreal emotion to have, but as I've said before, we've "known" for a long time now.  This day, our concerns were validated and we had a path.

We did make it home. Apparently there was some sort of clog in the line going into the radiator.  Who am I kidding?  I have no idea what was wrong.  I just know that Brian fixed it and my car is happy now.

Back to the school story.

The weekend didn't really give me any new insights into the best plan for kindergarten, but Monday morning, the EC director came into my office telling me that she had given some options a lot of thought since our conversation on Thursday.  She said that the autistic classes were more higher-functioning than Olivia and that she felt Mrs. R's class at OES would be a better fit.  Mrs. R's class has four or five other students (K-2) who are also low-functioning (though not all autistic) and that Mrs. R has been trained in the TEACCH method. 

After meeting with the principal later that afternoon and meeting the teacher a couple of days later, I felt like that classroom would be a great fit for our girl.  My biggest concern was after-school care, but that's another post.  :)

So, on August 25th, our big kid started his last year in elementary school and our baby girl started kindergarten.  I handled it well, only getting a little emotional around lunchtime (nothing a little plate of fried food from Zaxby's couldn't help).  I'm still not into a good routine yet, but that will come in time.  Of course, this puts all four of us in Hickory.  We soooo need to get this house sold.

How can it be that Olivia is five and Jacob is 11?  I'm certain it was just last week that I was chasing a wild toddler boy around.  And it was just yesterday that I was carrying around a baby girl who didn't have enough hair to hold a bow. 

Jacob- posing for the annual first-day-of-school-picture outside the front door.

We were running too late for me to dig the wheelchair out of the car for a picture.  So, Jacob took a picture of me holding Olivia.

So I could get a pic of the two of them together, I had Jake try to hold Olivia.  (It was too wet to put her down on her knees.)  She's pretty heavy.  Can't you tell?

Doesn't my girl know this is the first day of kindergarten pic with her teacher, and therefore, she should SMILE?  I stayed with her at school the first day for about an hour and a half and she did really well.  She didn't mind a bit when I left.  And when I picked her up that afternoon, Mrs. R said she had a great day.  She said some teachers came by to check on her throughout the day (that makes momma happy) and that she said "apple."  But, when I decide to snap a quick picture of O with Mrs. R, I get the stink face.  Stinker.