Normal.

Olivia had her MRIs yesterday morning. One on her brain and one on her lower spine. I took her by myself because Brian was at his golf tournament (that ended up getting rained out). We got there at 8 a.m. and they gave her some meds to make her loopy at around 8:45. They took her back around 9:15 and I tried to stay busy by eating in the cafe, reading, dozing a little and watching the democratic convention on the TV in the waiting room. And, of course, praying.

After about an hour and a half, the concierge checked on her and came back to tell me they still had another half an hour. About 45 minutes later, a nurse came to tell me that the doctors (whoever they were) looked at the pictures and wanted some more, so they were going to keep her under for another half hour or so to get what they needed. That caused a little anxiety, as I wondered what they needed more pics for. I called Brian, and he called Dr. Corbier's office to let them know that we wanted the results as soon as possible, especially knowing that they wanted more pictures for some reason.

Eventually, the concierge lady came out to tell me Olivia would be in recovery in about five minutes and explained that there had been some involuntary movement which is why they wanted more pictures. That relieved the stress some, but I still wondered if she had the whole story.

Olivia came out of the anesthesia fine and we were on the road home around 1 p.m.

Brian talked to Dr. Corbier's office later in the afternoon, and the nurse told Brian that the brain MRI was normal.

Normal.

Today, Brian took Olivia for botox injections. (Jeanine and Dr. Frick believe botox will allow for some stretching in the hips/hamstrings/ankles that we can't get without it). After heading back to Charlotte for the second time in two days, the doctor didn't give O the injections because insurance couldn't make up their minds if it would be covered or not. I'm amazed at how insurance companies think they know whether or not my child needs a procedure. (When O was two and started speech, insurance didn't cover it. They said you don't qualify for speech just because you have a language delay. WHAT?????)

So, Brian spent an hour and a half driving one way, two and a half hours at the doctor's office, and drove home. No botox. But, he talked a lot with the doctor (while waiting for the stupid insurance company to make a decision). The doctor (name unknown to me, obviously, as I just keep calling her "doctor") said that O probably does not have cerebral palsy since the brain MRI was normal. That's great news. Then, as she tried to piece all the symptoms together, she proclaimed what we've been saying for some time now:

She's a mystery.

Brian left the doctor's office and had a message from Dr. Corbier's office. The lower spine MRI was normal. They did notice a small pocket of fluid, but he is not concerned at all by that. (I'll take his word for it, I guess, since I have no idea what it means to have a small pocket of fluid in your lower spine.)

Normal.

It is so nice to get test results back labeled normal. But it makes our mystery girl that more mysterious.

I've heard a song quite a bit lately, but didn't really pay attention to the lyrics until today. I heard it on the way to work and again on the way home.

Have you ever heard a love song that
Set your spirit free
Have you ever watched a sunrise and
Felt you could not breathe
What if it's Him
What if it's God speaking

Have you ever cried a tear that
You could not explain
Have you ever met a stranger
Who already knew your name
What if it's Him
What if it's God speaking

Who knows how He'll get a hold of us
Get our attention to prove He is enough
He'll do and He'll use
Whatever He wants to
To tell us "I love you"

Have you ever lost a loved one
Who you thought should still be here
Do you know what it feels like
To be tangled up in fear
What if He's somehow involved
What if He's speaking through it all

Who knows how He'll get a hold of us
Get our attention to prove He is enough
He'll do and He'll use
Whatever He wants to
To tell us "I love you"

Maybe we aren't supposed to know the answers to Olivia's mysteries. Brian and I both agree that we are going to do whatever needs to be done to help her. We'll see all the doctors, we'll do all the research, we'll try the diets and do the therapies. But, when we feel like we've done it all, if there are still no answers, then we'll be at peace with the mystery. We have to be. She's ours and God placed her in our family to love and raise. Whether we have the answers or not.

He speaks to us through her. There is no doubt in my mind about that.

Last night, when Brian snapped this picture of our baby girl resting from her busy day, He reminded us what His peace looks like...